Shin chan - 50 - Domestic Abuse Isn't That Funny
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The Joke Stops Here! Book em, Shin-o! Disciples for the Truthery!
Tags: funimation anime animation japanese shin chan comedy slice of life troublesome kids
Added: 2 years ago
From: FUNimation
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[scene opens outside of the public library, which has a sign reading "Kasukabe's Last Library (Thanks, Barnes and Noble!)", then cut to a little boy walking into the main reading room]
GEORGIE: As opposed as I am to libraries, and anything else public, if it's free I might as well do my capitalistic duty and exploit it until there's nothing left!
[he walks past an Arnold Schwarzenegger-looking male librarian at the front desk (who is sitting next to a sign reading "Shut Up. Cigarettes Kill Babies. No Sex in Bookstacks.") when Shin runs up behind him and puts his finger on his back]
SHIN: Boogie smear!
[Georgie quickly turns around and starts yelling]
GEORGIE: Get off me, you ass!
[the librarian flashes them a dirty look for raising their voices]
LIBRARIAN: Shh ...
GEORGIE: [whispers] Please sir, don't eat us.
[cut to Georgie and Shin in the stacks]
GEORGIE: What're you doing here, Shin? You're barely literate.
SHIN: I left some good boogers in one of the books!
GEORGIE: Can't you go and do something more constructive, like play under a train?
SHIN: Hey, that reminds me, I gotta tell you a secret ...
[Georgie leans in close, but Shin just breathes into his ear]
SHIN: Bastard breath!
GEORGIE: [yelling] What the hell was that all about?!
[he quickly covers his mouth, as the librarian looks in their direction, then cut to Georgie hiding behind one of the bookshelves]
GEORGIE: Look, this may be a morally devoid socialist facility, but it isn't freaking Hippie Hill! You can't act like yourself, dammit!
SHIN: If I'm not mistaken, it was you who yelled.
GEORGIE: Just let me read in peace, and try not to do anything that'll get us into trouble.
SHIN: Uh huh, uh huh ... so it's a bad time to show you my new pet?
GEORGIE: I won't fall for that twice, keep your junk in your shorts!
[cut to Georgie scanning the Non-Fiction section]
GEORGIE: Let's see, how should I expand my mind today?
[camera zooms in on several titles on the shelf (which include "Reagan in Film," "Reagan in Genesis Videos," "Reagan the Prophet," "Reagan's Son the Heretic," "Reagan Who Screwed Us," and "Ray Gunn") when he reaches for one entitled "Reagan the Great"]
GEORGIE: Ah, jackpot!
[Shin suddenly reaches for the same book, touching Georgie's hand]
GEORGIE: [yelling] For god's sake, quit molesting me!
[he quickly covers his mouth, as the librarian looks in their direction again]
[...]
[cut to Georgie and Shin as they try to walk past the librarian's desk]
SHIN: [whispering] Be very quiet ...
[they successfully make their way past without drawing his attention, so Georgie heads for a nearby table]
GEORGIE: There's some seats here in the back ...
[patrons at a nearby table shoot them dirty looks as they sit down]
GEORGIE: Why are they staring? Did you do something offensive when I wasn't looking?
SHIN: Well, I did leave a trail of butt breeze back there ...
GEORGIE: Don't fart in the library!
[cut to Georgie reading his copy of "Reagan the Great," while Shin is (slowly) reading "Winny the Poo"]
SHIN: [reading] "If ... and ... and so ... but not ... and if ... the ... penis ... "
GEORGIE: You're skipping all the words you don't know, aren't you?
SHIN: Yes I am, how can you tell?
GEORGIE: Because Shin, out of the ten words you just spoke, the only one that had more than one syllable was "penis."
SHIN: I like it better this way, thanks.
GEORGIE: You would ...
[a man walks up behind them]
NARRATOR: And that's when the stranger came. A man who would change these boys' lives in completely insignificant ways.
[the man grabs them out of their chairs, and takes the table for himself]
GEORGIE: Excuse me, my associate and I were actually already sitting there.
[the man ignores them, so Georgie turns back to Shin]
GEORGIE: It seems this gentleman, who is considerably larger than the two of us, has decided to take our spot. Waddaya think we should do about it?
SHIN: Well, there's one chair left.
[they both climb up and share the chair next to the man, as the camera zooms in on Shin rubbing his butt against Georgie]
SHIN: Hey, check it out Georgie ... we're ass-sociates!
[cut back to a closeup of Shin's face, as he stares at the man, then nudges Georgie]
SHIN: [whispering] Georgie, Georgie! Hey Georgie!
GEORGIE: Can't you keep quiet? I'm reading.
SHIN: Oh! Do you wanna know what I think, though?
GEORGIE: [sighs] No, but get it over with!
SHIN: Doesn't this guy remind you of Cameron from "Ferris Bueller"?
[the man suddenly looks up from his book]
MAN: Pardon my French, but you're an asshole! Look guys, I've got a big drug test at my new job next week, and if you two little squirts aren't going to behave so I can pass it, I'll make you into rugs!
SHIN: Oh, here's a tip. If you have trouble peeing in your cup, just pretend it's a VCR.
MAN: [yelling] You don't know crap!
[the librarian suddenly appears behind the man]
LIBRARIAN: Ahem ...
[the librarian leans in close and points at the frightened man]
LIBRARIAN: You, shut your hole ...
[the man nervously nods his head, as the librarian turns to leave]
LIBRARIAN: Or I will eat your life. That's what librarians do.
[he leaves, as Shin watches him go]
SHIN: Is he the Terminator, huh?
GEORGIE: Well Shin, let's see ...
[he pretends to think about it]
GEORGIE: No, you're just dumb.
SHIN: How come in the first two "Terminators," we saw the Terminators get nakee, but when the hottie one came in "T3" we didn't see her ass?
GEORGIE: [yelling] Let me read!
[he quickly covers his mouth, but the librarian doesn't react]
MAN: Wow, you're lucky he didn't hear you.
SHIN: Wait, you mean the shouting or my last fart?
MAN: Well, a few months ago, I was sitting right here stoned, and I saw that guy dropkick a crying baby.
GEORGIE: Are you serious? I thought that was just a myth.
SHIN: So, if I wore a bib, would he kick me?
[the man bangs his head on the table]
MAN: Just wait and you'll see ...
[...]
[cut to the man reading his book and repeating the words to himself]
MAN: Review, "Step one. Don't do drugs. Step two. Pee in the cup." Review, "Step one. Don't do drugs. Step two. Pee in the cup" ...
SHIN: [whispering] Step two. Pee in cup. Step three. Drink it.
[the man, still looking at his book, absent-mindedly begins repeating what Shin is saying]
MAN: Okay. Step two. Pee in the cup. Step three. Drink it ...
[he stops and stares at Shin, who pretends to be reading, so he continues going over his notes]
MAN: "Black tar heroin is the purest of all opiates" ... "Black tar heroin is the purest of all opiates."
SHIN: [whispering] Black scarred hairy men make the purest loogie spits.
[the man, still looking at his book, repeats his mistake]
MAN: Black scarred hairy men make--
[he again stares at Shin (who again looks back at his book as if reading), then turns to his book but quickly looks back at Shin to try and fool him]
MAN: Ah ...
SHIN: [whispers] Poo ...
[the man points at him and yells]
MAN: I got you! I got you! You're busted, you smelly little troll person! I'm not gonna give you any of my stash now, I'm just gonna kill you! I'm tweakin' out!
[the librarian suddenly appears behind him, as the man gets on the floor and starts bowing before him]
MAN: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I grovel before your massive feet, great keeper of the library!
[the librarian turns to leave]
LIBRARIAN: Next time, I bring the nipple clamps ...
[he exits the scene, as Shin turns to Georgie]
SHIN: A little less action than I was hoping for, but I thought the one-liners were decent.
GEORGIE: Could I pay you to leave?
[cut to the man putting a large pile of books on the table]
SHIN: What're you doing now?
MAN: I'm building a privacy fence between us, so I can finally study in peace.
SHIN: Uh huh, uh huh. Lemmee help you with that, my friend. You're not doing a very good job ...
[Shin runs off to the stacks and ends up bringing back three humongous piles of books that are on the verge of falling over]
SHIN: Behold, the best use of books ever, other than booger storage!
[the camera zooms in on the books (with titles like "Action Bastard Presents: Lollipop's Erotica," "Beginners Guide to Bookstacking," "Little Women 2: Tiny Girls," "Ballhair Through the Ages," "Learning to Smell," "Kama Sutra," and "How Oprah Ruined Literature") when a fly lands on the top, causing them all to fall over and bury the man underneath]
MAN: Ahh!
[he suddenly bursts out of the pile of fallen books and starts yelling]
MAN: That does it, kid! I'm twice your size, but I feel six times bigger from the 'shrooms! So, show some respect!
[the librarian suddenly appears and grabs the man by the arm while pointing to the exit, then the scene cuts to the man being thrown out of the library]
MAN: Please, I need those books! I still don't know how much cranberry juice to drink! This busboy job could really go places!
[the librarian ignores his pleas and motions for him to leave]
MAN: Oh hell ...
[cut to Shin as he walks out of the library]
SHIN: So long, Cameron from "Ferris Bueller!"
MAN: Huh?
SHIN: We'll continue with our lessons tomorrow, don't forget to bring your cup!
[the man breaks down and starts crying, as the scene fades to black]
---
From blogspot.com:
Crayon Shin-Chan is a Japanese manga and anime series written by Yoshito Usui. It follows the wacky antics and adventures of five-year-old Shinnosuke "Shin" Nohara and his parents, neighbors, and friends and is set in Kasukabe, Saitama Prefecture, Japan.
FUNimation Entertainment acquired the license for the Shin-chan anime in the US as of 2005. As per all international licenses for the series, TV Asahi remained a licensing partner for North America. The new dub received a month-long test run on Cartoon Network on the Adult Swim programming block. FUNimation's dubbing of "Shin Chan" takes many liberties with the source material; The FUNimation dub is adult-oriented, with many sexual references, dark humor, and references to current popular American culture.
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From toonzone.net:
"Book em', Shin-O!" (Season 1, Episode 50) - Georgie goes to the library and Shin tries to make a fool of himself to get them both kicked out.
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