Monday, August 13, 2012

Case Study No. 0496: "Conan the Librarian X"

Great Mac Prank
3:02
To quit type killall "Conan The Librarian" in terminal

ConanTheLibrarian- http://tinyurl.com/ywn4dg
Email- pwnagetutorials @ gmail.com
Aim- pwnagetutrials
Tags: great mac prank funny lol hilarious conan the librarian leopard tiger apple
Added: 4 years ago
From: PwnageTutorials
Views: 6,043

[scene opens with a male teenager speaking directly to the camera]
PWNAGETUTORIALS: Hello, everybody! Um, right now I'm just gonna be talking about a really funny prank that you can play on anyone with a Mac. It's ... really hilarious, actually. It's this little thing called "Conan the Librarian." Uh, here, lemmee just pull it up. Okay, "Conan the Librarian." Okay, so, one second.
[he turns the camera to show his computer screen]
PWNAGETUTORIALS: Okay, so that's what it looks like, "Conan the Librarian."
[the camera zooms in on one of the icons on the desktop, which is in the shape of an old female librarian's head (white hair in a bun, glasses, and red pupils) labelled "Conan the Librarian"]
PWNAGETUTORIALS: I'll have a link to it. And basically what it does is click on it, you tell it to play and whenever it detects audio from your mike, it tells you to shut up. So, here, check it out. Just take it, double click ... watch!
[he clicks the icon]
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Quiet!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: It's rea--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shut up!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: It's really annoying, as you can see--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shut up!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: And it runs--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shut up!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: It doesn't run in a window--
[epic music swells]
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shuuuut uuuupppp!!!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: Okay ... it doesn't run in a window--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Quiet!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: A window--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shut up!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: So they can't tell what it is--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shut up!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: Um ... it's really annoying--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Quiet!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: So, uh--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shut up!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: To quit it, just go to "Terminal"--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shut up!
[he launches the "Terminal" application]
PWNAGETUTORIALS: "Terminal"--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shut up!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: Just go into "Terminal"--
[epic music swells]
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shuuuut uuuupppp!!!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: And type in--
[epic music swells]
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shuuuut uuuupppp!!!
[he starts typing, but the sound of the keyboard is enough to trigger the epic music]
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shuuuut uuuupppp!!!
[he continues typing, and the epic music starts again]
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shu--
[he continues typing]
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Quiet!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: Sorry--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shut up!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: [talking quickly] "Killall Conan the Librarian!"
[he continues typing]
PWNAGETUTORIALS: You can do--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Quiet!
[he presses Enter, and the program terminates]
PWNAGETUTORIALS: Okay ... Phew! Okay, sorry about that. Uh, it's a really funny app. Uh, it closes down when the computer shuts off, so y'know, it's not really malicious. And, uh, if you wanna stop it without having to shut down the computer, the command is "killall Conan the Librarian." Yep, and then it just stops.
[the camera zooms in on the "Conan the Librarian" icon again]
PWNAGETUTORIALS: So yeah, you just click it to open.
[he clicks the icon]
PWNAGETUTORIALS: Okay ... And then you can--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Quiet!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: Um--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Quiet!
PWNAGETUTORIALS: I'm gonna have to kill it--
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: Shut up!
[he copies the "killall Conan the Librarian" command and pastes it back into "Terminal", stopping the program]
PWNAGETUTORIALS: Okay, as you can see, it's really annoying ... and it's sure to guarantee hilarity, so yeah!
[he moves the camera so that it's focused on him again]
PWNAGETUTORIALS: Um, thanks for watching. Uh, my email is "tutorialpwnage at gmail dot com", and my AIM is "tutorialpwnage." Thanks for watching and ... get pranking!

---

From jschilling.net:

What is Conan the Librarian X?
A torture tool. When the incoming sound on your built in microphone reaches certain levels, any one of five distinct sound clips featuring Ah-nuld will play and tell you to "SHUT UP!". This is a port of a very, very old System 7 extension for the Macintosh. It was one of my favorite useless apps for the Classic Mac OS.

How do I use Conan the Librarian X?
Ideally, you should install this app on the Mac of someone you hate. I have a list of 67 people, personally. Once installed on the Macintosh of your foe, double click the icon to launch. It runs as a faceless background application, so it will look as if nothing has happened. When running, Conan the Librarian listens in on the built in microphone. When the sound level gets to a certain point, it will tell you to shut up. The more sound that comes in, the angrier the Governor gets. If you need to kill the application because your life is being threatened, open up a Terminal window and type in the following command: killall QUIT "Conan The Librarian"

Disclaimer
If Conan is too sensitive to sounds, try lowering the Input Volume in the System Preferences (under Sound - Input).
I make no guarantees about this app. It may destroy you, your computer, your friends computer, your cat, your credit rating, etc. I am in no way responsible for ANYTHING tragic happening to you or anyone you choose to torture with this app. Use at your own risk.
Conan the Librarian X is 159% freeware. You may redistribute the application as you see fit, without notification to myself, as long as no fee is collected.
Conan the Librarian was originally written by Neil Day in 1992. I cannot find his email address. Anyway, the original Conan and sounds are copyright 1992 Neil Day.

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